You Know The Reason Why
by ProudToBeABadger
Summary: Sirius spends most of the summer holidays perpetually drunk, and Regulus is sick of it. He is about to confront his big brother when in a brief moment of loss of self-control, Sirius does something brash, with harsh consequences. It's time for Sirius to leave, and never come back.


**Requested by a fan on the page I admin. I definitely do NOT ship these two, but I am always up for a challenge with new ships to write, so I thought I'd give it a shot. If you don't like it, don't continue reading. Enjoy ^-^**

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**_You Know The Reason Why_**

"Heeeey, little brother!" Recognising the slurred speech, Regulus looked up, sighing at the sight of a drunken Sirius silhouetted against the doorframe.

"Mum will kill you for being drunk again" he scolded. "It's only noon, and you're already pissed. Some role model you are."

Regulus was sick of being the responsible one, always looking after his big brother. He was meant to be the little sibling! Sirius was meant to be watching out for him, helping him with homework, giving him pointers about girls, playing games with him. But no, Sirius spent every day of the summer holidays either locked in his room or stumbling around the house blind drunk (the latter only being an option if the parental figures were out). And the only time Regulus had ever asked for a tip about a girl he liked, Sirius had fixed his brother with a wicked grin and said "Don't ask me about girls, mate, I don't swing that way." Regulus had a sinking feeling in his stomach that Sirius hadn't been joking. He never joked about anything anymore; he was too drunk all the time. Regulus was fed up with it. He stood and went to where Sirius was leaning against the wall, which seemed to be the only thing keeping him upright. As he pried the bottle of mead from his big brother's hands he imagined what he could possibly say to make his brother listen. But he never got the chance to say anything, because in the next instant Sirius's hands had found Regulus's face, and he was pulling him closer.

* * *

As Sirius studied his brother's face he felt a strange sensation, a kind of burning longing that he had only ever felt for Remus. He noticed the flecks of silver in his brother's grey eyes, the smattering of pale freckles on his turned-up nose, the fullness of his lips. Without stopping to think, he leaned down and pressed his lips to his brother's, simply to know what it would feel like. Regulus pulled away but Sirius pulled him closer. All of a sudden Regulus stopped fighting and they both sank into the kiss.

* * *

Regulus wasn't quite sure what was going on. One second he was about to begin shouting at his brother, and the next they were snogging. Sirius tasted like butterscotch. Regulus wasn't sure how that worked seeing as he should taste like mead and firewhiskey, but nope, butterscotch. Why was he thinking about this!? He shouldn't be kissing another boy! Especially not his brother! But for some reason he couldn't seem to pull away. It was an amazing feeling, being wanted, and Regulus had never kissed anyone before. When the boys finally surfaced for air, Regulus clutched at his brother's shirt and gasped "Siri!"

Sirius responded by crashing his lips onto his brother's once more. The sound of the front door slamming shut sent both boys flying backwards, and Regulus, feeling like he had been doused in cold water, was suddenly snapped back to reality. He gave Sirius a cold stare and said in a low voice "Out. Now."

For once in his life Sirius did what he was told and turned and stumbled back to his own room. Regulus heard the lock click shut and ran back inside his own room. He threw himself face down on the bed and began to sob. He had just had his first kiss, and it had been with his brother. Even worse, he had enjoyed it. What was wrong with him?

* * *

Sirius felt terrible for taking advantage of his little brother like that, but for some reason he hadn't been able to resist. Regulus's lips were so soft, and he tasted so sweet and- no. Sirius couldn't think like that. And besides, he had a BOYFRIEND, for Merlin's sake! Did it count as cheating if it was your brother? Sirius hoped not. He needed to get out of here, away from his brother's gorgeous eyes and smile before anything like that ever happened again.

Before dinner that night, Sirius packed his trunk with everything he owned. When his family were halfway through their meal, Sirius said loudly, "So, Mum and Dad, do you mind if I have a friend stay over for the rest of the holidays?"

His parents almost choked on their dinner. It was probably the first time they had heard him speak all summer. His father regained composure first. "And which friend might this be?" he asked gruffly.

Sirius took a moment to steel himself for what he was about to do, then shrugged and spread his hands "You probably won't know him because he's only halfblood, and he lived with his muggle father most of his life. His name is Remus Lupin, only we call him Moony on account of him being a werewolf. You might be a little scared about having him in the house, but I figured it was time for you to meet my boyfriend."

Silence fell like a stone. And then all hell broke loose. The next half hour was a blur, but there were things that stuck with Sirius for the rest of his life. His father's initial shout of surprise; his mother's face as she burned her eldest son off the tapestry; both his parents standing over him and ordering him to leave. But the thing that hurt the most was the look on his younger brother's face as he was torn away from their last hug. That one burning question. "Why?"

But Sirius was sure his brother already knew why.

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**I don't like it, but I did my best to write a pairing I don't ship AT ALL. Please tell me what you think ^-^**

**-Badger Xx**


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